Teens' Clothes-Swapping Eventually Goes as Predicted
Dear Abby | March 19th, 2026 | Letter 1 of 3
DEAR ABBY: When my daughter entered her teens, she and her friends began borrowing each other's clothes. I didn't approve, and I warned my daughter that if anything became lost or damaged, I would not be responsible, nor would I replace the item. She said she understood and continued the practice. As I predicted, some of her clothes went missing or were damaged. One particular incident occurred when she borrowed a tennis sweater from a casual friend whose parents I was not friendly with. When I unloaded the hamper to do the laundry, unbeknownst to me, the sweater fell in with other clothes that did not require special care. I first noticed the sweater when I retrieved the clothes from the dryer. It had shrunk. When I pointed this out to my daughter, she just shrugged and gave it back to her friend. Soon after, I received an angry phone call from the girl's mother demanding that I reimburse her $75 for the sweater, which her daughter had loaned to mine without her permission. I told her about my conversation with my daughter involving the practice of borrowing clothes and said since her daughter loaned the sweater WITHOUT her permission, her daughter should assume responsibility. She became furious with me, going on and on about how much she loved the sweater, but I stood firm. Was I wrong? -- TEACHABLE MOMENT IN NEW JERSEY.
DEAR TEACHABLE MOMENT: You should not have been responsible for reimbursing the mother for the sweater. Before loaning it to your daughter, the girl should have asked her mother's permission, just as your daughter should do before she lends one of her garments to anyone. If anyone owes that mother for the sweater, it is your daughter, who broke the rule, which resulted in the item being damaged.
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