Daughter's Choice of Partner Disappoints
Dear Abby | March 16th, 2026 | Letter 2 of 2
DEAR ABBY: I have a daughter who resides in another state and has had self-confidence issues since she was young. Her first marriage ended when she found out her husband was having affairs. Her second husband appears to be controlling but gives her stability, which she likes. When I visit them, he's rude and condescending, which I have tried to ignore as he is her choice. Over the last 20 years, he has become increasingly controlling and rude to the point that I no longer want to visit them. While I miss my daughter, I know she is aware and will do nothing about his behavior. We talk on the phone but only on speaker when he is present. Now the conundrum: Do I leave a sizable inheritance to her, which I know he will control? While I don't want her to feel I am punishing her for her choice in a husband, it makes me feel like I would be rewarding him for his rude behavior. -- TORN DAD IN CALIFORNIA.
DEAR DAD: This is something you should discuss with your financial adviser. You do not have to reward her husband. You may be able to set up a trust for your daughter in which she receives a certain amount of money every month until her death. After that, the remainder of your estate might be left to a cause or charity of your choice.
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