Parents' Hobby Is a Red Flag of Misaligned Priorities
Dear Abby | March 15th, 2026 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: My parents have always been wonderful and supportive. As they grow older, it's hard to see them deal with the aches and pains that come with age -- especially my mother, who has rheumatoid arthritis. In an effort to ease their burden, I pay for a monthly cleaning service to help them maintain their large home. While I'm happy to support them, I am growing increasingly frustrated. Recently, they've been frequenting estate sales and bringing home furniture, dish sets, seasonal decorations and other things they have little space or practical use for. They have two fully decorated accessory dwelling units on their property, yet they continue acquiring more stuff, even though it's just the two of them. This situation concerns me not only because of the limited space and physical strain, but also because they're retired and living on a fixed income. I'm beginning to feel stupid paying for a cleaning service while they continue filling their home with things they don't need, making it harder to keep clean in the first place. How can I bring up my concerns in a way that's respectful, without sounding controlling or ungrateful? -- FRUSTRATED WITH THEM IN THE SOUTH.
DEAR FRUSTRATED: It would be interesting to know why your parents do this. Have they turned into hoarders? Is frequenting estate sales a form of entertainment for them? (I know people who do this avidly, and they find treasures, because sometimes heirs don't realize the value of what they have.) You are overdue for a frank talk with your folks, who, from your descriptions of their property -- a home plus two fully furnished ADUs -- may not need your financial assistance for a cleaning service.
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