Friends' Gift Looks More Like a Housecleaning
Dear Abby | March 9th, 2026 | Letter 2 of 2
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been friends with the Joneses for many years. We traditionally exchange gift baskets. I enjoy picking out treats and items I think they would enjoy when assembling their basket. I also give them home-baked items. Last year, their basket for us contained a freebie calendar from a charity (we also received one from the charity; they gifted us one the previous year as well, and I had told them then that we already had one). There was also an amenity bar of soap from a hotel, a summer sausage, a small wheel of processed cheese and a 4-inch-by-5-inch print the wife bought at an art fair I had attended with her years before. It seemed like she just went around her house gathering things she didn't want for the basket. This year, I'm thinking about telling them we would rather not exchange gifts as it seems they can't be bothered. Do you think I'm being grinchy? -- THOUGHT THAT COUNTS?.
DEAR THOUGHT: Your friends may be experiencing financial difficulty. I do not think it would be kind or polite to tell them it seems they can't be bothered. A better way to approach it might be to tell the wife that you and your husband are cutting back on gift-giving this year, which is why you will be gifting friends a home-baked pie, cake, batch of cookies, etc., and you hope they will consider doing the same. (By the way, they already ARE cutting back, which is why you wrote to me!)
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