Mother Heartbroken as Son Charts His Own Course
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Mother Heartbroken as Son Charts His Own Course

Dear Abby | March 5th, 2026 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: My son Scot recently remarried. I wasn't involved in any of the preparations. I was also not acknowledged at the wedding and felt like just another guest. My son decided to change his last name without informing me about it. When I asked why, he said he had no claim to the name even though he has a brother and children with that last name. Am I wrong for feeling I've been punched in the heart for not being involved in this decision? The hurt is real. -- MOM WHO DOESN'T MATTER.

DEAR MOM: With this new marriage, Scot is starting over, and the name change may be his way of creating a new beginning. Obviously, you and your son are not close enough that he confides in you, or he might have spoken to you about his decision and explained it beyond feeling he had no claim to the name he, his brother and his children were raised with. Scot's decision was a personal one. Whatever his reason, it has nothing to do with you, and it should not be regarded as a punch in the heart. (A flip of the stomach, perhaps, but in no way related to you.)

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