Second Wife Upset Man Visits First Wife's Grave
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Second Wife Upset Man Visits First Wife's Grave

Dear Abby | March 4th, 2026 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday, my wife and I went out to the cemetery to lay some flowers for her brother and father, who passed away many years ago. After we were finished and on our way out, I stopped for a few minutes to check on my first wife's crypt before returning to the car. When she asked what I had been doing, I told her I was making sure the plastic flowers were still there. My wife was surprised that I still check on her crypt because she had been gone for more than 16 years. I married my second and current wife 15 years ago. It was a wonderful marriage -- until now. She said her feelings were hurt that I was still checking out the crypt. She asked me how often I do it, and I told her twice a year. She's now upset with me. Was I wrong to pay my respects? My parents' crypts are nearby, and I check on theirs as well. -- STILL CARE IN THE WEST.

DEAR STILL CARE: Your wife is being childish, and I hope you will point that out to her. Much as she might wish otherwise, you came to her with a history. (You were, I assume, happily married before your first wife's death.) Tell Number Two that checking on your deceased wife's crypt isn't a threat to her unless she chooses to make it so, and that Dear Abby suggests she knock it off before she damages a good thing.