Mother Is No Fan of Son's Wife
Dear Abby | March 3rd, 2026 | Letter 2 of 2
DEAR ABBY: How do I get my daughter-in-law, Darlene, to clean up after herself? I live in the house, pay rent and help with the bills, but she constantly creates a mess in the kitchen and everywhere else. She fills the sink with dishes daily and never washes pots and pans, to the point I can't use the kitchen to cook. Darlene doesn't work and has nothing to do all day but create a disaster and wait for me or my son (her husband) to clean up behind her. My son and I each work full-time. He does all the laundry, cleaning and cooking. If I say anything, Darlene gets defensive and makes all kinds of excuses why she can't. (It's sheer laziness.) If I say anything to my son, he defends her because she whines and cries about how tired she is and claims to have all kinds of illnesses (her stomach hurts, she's on her period or just too tired). She stays up late every night and can't wake up to get my grandson to school, so my son does it every day. I'm at my wits' end, but I don't want to create an environment where Darlene will ignore me and turn my son against me. Help! -- OUT OF BALANCE IN THE SOUTH.
DEAR OUT OF BALANCE: You cannot change the unhealthy dynamic in your son's household unless he and his wife agree to do so. From what you have written, that isn't likely to happen. Be glad that you are fully employed, because the healthiest situation for you would be to make other living arrangements.
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