After Months of Couples Therapy, Things Haven't Improved
Dear Abby | March 3rd, 2026 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: I have been married more than 20 years to my best friend. She's the love of my life. We have been through a lot together and have been in couples counseling for eight months. We almost divorced last year because of an emotional affair I had seven years ago. (She had a similar distraction last year.) We are friends and do everything together. I try to do everything right. I'm there for her emotionally. I have stopped drinking every day and developed a positive, mindful and kind mindset. I got myself into shape physically. I earn a good living, help around the house, prepare dinner for all of us and help with kids' appointments and activities. The problem? My wife has physically withdrawn from me. Anything beyond hugs and kisses is too much for her. Physical intimacy happens less than once a month. I feel alone in my own home because I thrive on touch and affection but receive none. I love my wife and don't want to be with anyone else. The counselor says things may turn the corner in time. In the meantime, how do I function while feeling undesired and rejected on a daily basis? -- FORGOTTEN HUSBAND IN THE SOUTH.
DEAR HUSBAND: You have my sympathy. It is possible that as much as you and your wife like and love each other, you are better friends than spouses. Because after eight months of counseling with your wife nothing has changed, there are no gestures of affection and you feel alone in your own home, it's time you found a psychotherapist of your own. It's clear that joint counseling has not been helpful.
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