Helpful Mom Has Actually Been Stealing
Dear Abby | February 2nd, 2026 | Letter 2 of 2
DEAR ABBY: As a single parent with two children, ages 9 and 10, I am in a challenging situation. I have been diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension, a serious heart-lung illness that progressively worsens. Although I am classified as physically disabled, advancements in new medications have significantly improved my condition compared to when my children were younger. My mother helps me with cleaning my apartment each week, and I truly appreciate and often need her support. She holds a key to my home for emergencies. However, during her visits when we are out, she has removed items from my apartment without my consent. When I have mentioned this to her, she has manipulated my feelings and denied any wrongdoing, despite being caught in the act several times. Am I wrong for being angry about this? -- VIOLATED IN OREGON.
DEAR VIOLATED: You are right for feeling your trust has been violated. It has been. Your mother's gaslighting you about it is shameful. If there is an alternative to your mother helping with the housekeeping, please consider availing yourself of it. Contact your state department of social services (as well as your doctor) to find out if there are programs to help you with maintaining your household. If that is not possible, you will have to lock up any items of value you don't want to go missing because of your light-fingered, entitled mother.
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