Partner Paying More To Support Man's Grandsons
Dear Abby | January 27th, 2026 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship for seven years. My significant other, Gabe, and I bought a home together. We are also raising three of his grandsons. I pay half of the mortgage, utilities, food, maintenance and personal necessities. We both pay for our own insurance, car loans and gas. Abby, there are four of them and one of me. This means utilities and food are used more by them than by me. I'm always after the boys to turn off the lights when not in use and to shut the doors after entering and leaving the house. We live in Arizona, so you can imagine electric bills during the summer, especially in a very large home. Because Gabe earns more money than I do, I have tried talking to him about the cost. I feel he should pay a higher percentage. Each time, I give him the monthly amount that I spent. He then goes through it with a fine-tooth comb and pays only what he thinks he should pay for. We argue about it every single month. It's driving me nuts, and the upfront costs are breaking me. Please advise. -- PAYING MORE THAN ENOUGH.
DEAR PAYING: That Gabe earns more than you do should have been taken into consideration at the time you began living with him and his grandsons. Financial counseling might help you to determine what such an adjustment would mean in terms of dollars. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling is a reliable resource. Because these monthly financial disagreements could erode your relationship, please consider couples counseling in order to work out a plan that is fair for all parties concerned.
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