Adult Autistic Son Hasn't Been Seen for Five Years
Dear Abby | December 3rd, 2025 | Letter 2 of 2
DEAR ABBY: My son, Grant, who is 37, is autistic. My ex-wife removed him from a group home five years ago and took him out of the country. I made a mistake years ago by allowing her to have guardianship. I tried to stop them from leaving. I have had zero communication with my ex or Grant in those five years. My 40-year-old daughter, her three children and her husband live with me. I have another daughter, age 35, who lives independently. My daughters have been in constant communication with their mother. My ex comes to the U.S. once a year and meets with them. Both daughters had difficult younger years because Grant was violent. I have a good relationship with both of them. But every time I ask about Grant, I receive angry responses. I wouldn't be surprised if Grant is no longer alive. I realize I likely don't have that many more years and may depart this world without knowing anything about him. I haven't had a photo or a word. Is there anything I can do? -- SAD FATHER IN NEW JERSEY.
DEAR SAD FATHER: So your ex-wife and daughters have a code of silence regarding the whereabouts and welfare of your son. How cruel. Of course there's something you can do. Pick up the phone, discuss this with your lawyer, and ask what information he or she can unearth about Grant. If necessary, hire a private detective to uncover where your ex took him and whether he's still living. You have my sympathy.
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