Young Adult Living His Best Life in Parents' Home
Dear Abby | November 29th, 2025 | Letter 1 of 3
DEAR ABBY: Our 20-year-old son works full time and lives with us. He doesn't do any household chores or pay us anything, not even his car insurance (which he agreed to pay). He then moved his girlfriend in, and after that a dog, without permission. He has anxiety and depression issues, which he thinks he's treating with marijuana. When we try to approach him about his plans for the future, helping out at home or paying anything, it becomes a screaming match with him punching the walls. How do we handle this without a fight? I mean, we could kick them out, but we're afraid he'll then move to a bad neighborhood. He's angry because his friends got to go to college, yet he showed ZERO interest and didn't have the grades. Your thoughts would be appreciated. -- EXASPERATED MOM IN TEXAS.
DEAR MOM: Do you want your son to continue to live with you in perpetuity and not assume any responsibility for the privilege? If the answer is yes, continue doing nothing. If the answer is no, then it's time you and your husband finally assert yourselves. Tell your son that by now he should have saved enough money from his job for a down payment on an apartment for him, his girlfriend and his dog. Give him a deadline to move. If he has to live in a less desirable neighborhood, so be it. When he starts punching the walls, tell him to stop immediately and, if he doesn't, call the police. You will be doing all of you a favor. P.S. Unless your son has been using marijuana with a doctor's prescription, he is breaking the law in Texas by using it to self-medicate.
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