Family Reenters School and Workplace After Tragedy
Dear Abby | October 20th, 2025 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, my oldest child died in a horrific car accident. Our family went into a sort of hibernation for several months, mourning and trying to deal with the sadness of the situation. Now the kids are back in school, and I'm starting to work again. I'm interacting with a lot of people I haven't seen since before the accident who maybe don't know what happened. How do I respond when they ask perfectly reasonable questions, like What's new? or How was your break? I want to be honest and let people know I'm not really OK. But I also want to avoid trauma dumping, or providing too much information they aren't ready for. The full truth is a lot for anyone to hear. If I say something like, We've had some family issues that have been hard, people tend to assume I'm getting a divorce or have cancer, which changes how they interact with me. If I tell the truth they almost always start crying, which makes me cry, and then the situation is derailed. What can I say that is true, and that also indicates they don't really want to know more? -- SURVIVOR IN TENNESSEE.
DEAR SURVIVOR: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the tragic loss of your first-born child. If someone asks what's new or how you are, respond, We've been through some trials and tribulations, but we're moving forward. If you are questioned further, simply say, I'd rather not go into detail right now, and change the subject.
- powered by google cloud