Different Gift-Giving Strategies Complicate Holidays
Dear Abby | October 19th, 2025 | Letter 2 of 3
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have different approaches to holiday gift-giving. I like to pick up nice things that I find throughout the year, with only a loose idea of who they might go to. Then I sit down in December and sort out who might like what and wrap the things accordingly. He finds this process abhorrent and insists that the only reasonable way to choose gifts is to shop with the specific person in mind, preferably close to the time the gift is given. The problem is, he does none of the work of actually finding those thoughtfully chosen and tailored gifts for anyone in our family. The job is left to me, and I have neither the time nor the patience to shop the way he wants me to. Do you agree with him that I'm being thoughtless, or is it OK that I buy ahead of time as long as everyone has something fitting? -- NOT MERRY IN THE MIDWEST.
DEAR NOT MERRY: No, I do not agree with your husband. You are doing the holiday shopping in a way that works for you. If he would prefer it be done differently, let him know that you are willing to step back and let him assume the task. If he actually agrees rather than carp, relax and take him up on it. And if the gifts this year are inappropriate, the fault will rest solely with him.
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