Man Wants To Offer Support After Loss
Dear Abby | October 17th, 2025 | Letter 2 of 2
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 35-year-old man who has always been able to help friends with loss and life changes, until now. For context, I am going through the adoption process with imminent placement. I am in constant contact with my college friends; we all talk almost daily. One of them just disclosed that she is going through a miscarriage. I am at a loss. I want to be there for her while going through my own process to have kids. I can't begin to imagine her feelings of loss and the physical pain. I laid down and cried after she told me, grieving for her and her baby and her husband. How do I support her? I have no idea how to help her while also following the rules of etiquette. Please help. -- INEPT IN MAINE.
DEAR INEPT: You are a compassionate and empathetic person. Your friend's loss has come at a particularly sensitive time for you. The rules of etiquette decree that you send a condolence card or write a short note expressing your sympathy to her and her husband, calling her to offer whatever support she may need during this difficult time and staying in touch as she works her way through this.
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