Siblings Not Interested in Sister's Vengeful 'Party' for Dad
Dear Abby | September 24th, 2025 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: My father was a terrible person. He was physically abusive to his wife and kids, and he sexually abused both of my sisters. He was a vicious bully who took every opportunity to humiliate his children and took pleasure in destroying things we worked hard for. No one in the family is sad that he's no longer with us; most of us are happy to move on. One of my sisters, however, wants to have a big party to celebrate the 10th anniversary of his death. She envisions a celebratory dinner at a fancy restaurant followed by a party at her house, complete with a contest for throwing darts at his picture. I don't miss our father any more than she does, and I understand her raw hatred of him. But I also don't have any interest in going to that kind of an event, nor do any of our other siblings. We think it's past time to move on, and celebrating his death is not moving on. My sister has made clear that if we don't attend, she will view it as not being supportive of her and won't ever speak to us again. What do you think about all of this? Must the rest of us go to her event, or should we take a pass, knowing she most likely will cut us out of her life? -- BEYOND THAT IN FLORIDA.
DEAR BEYOND THAT: You and your siblings are fortunate to have been able to move forward from the trauma you suffered at the hands of your father. Your sister obviously hasn't been so fortunate. She's wrong to threaten you with excommunication if you refuse her invitation to a death day party for the abuser. I hope none of you knuckle under. As a victim of abuse, she could use intensive counseling, and I hope at some point she'll reach out for it. The way she's headed now, she will soon isolate herself completely from the family.
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