Beloved Cousin Mired in a Miserable Rough Patch
Dear Abby | September 12th, 2025 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: I love my cousin Carly like a sister. We come from a large family, and both of us are estranged from our mothers (who are sisters) as well as our siblings. We're OK with this because we have no room for toxic people in our lives. Recently, Carly has fallen on hard times -- a bitter divorce and a failed business. She lost one son in a terrible accident and the other to drugs and alcohol. Her daughter has sided with her dad and rarely speaks to Carly. When she does contact her mom, she is unkind and rude. I think that since Carly no longer has money to spend on her, the girl is kicking her mom while she's down. Carly is heartbroken, depressed and struggling with the why me? of all of this. If I had the funds, I'd help her with whatever she needed to deal with her legal woes, but these are tough times for everyone. I try to check in on her daily via text (we live in separate cities) and give her strategies to deal with her failing business and all the clean-up -- financial and emotional -- that comes with letting go of her dream of owning her own shop. I worry about Carly because she has no one other than me. All the fair-weather friends who hung around her business are gone, and her kids and grandkids have floated away. What advice can I give her? -- LOVING COUSIN IN NEW MEXICO.
DEAR COUSIN: From what you have written, you have given Carly about as much emotional support as you can. If you can manage to schedule some in-person, one-on-one time with Carly, it might lift her spirits. However, there may be one more thing you can give: Hope. Remind your cousin that when one door closes, another may open, and when it does, she will be able to apply all the lessons she has learned so far. As to why me? -- setbacks happen to everyone at one time or another. The trick is to learn from our mistakes so we don't repeat them.
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