Messages Are Mostly Misfiring for Married Couple
Dear Abby | August 23rd, 2025 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been amicably married for 16 years. We enjoy each other's company and are home together a lot. However, over the last year or so, I have had an increasingly hard time hearing what he's saying. He sits in his chair and mumbles to the point where I can't tell if he's talking to me or to himself. He also tries to talk to me from the next room with his back to me, or when I have the sink running. No matter how many times or different ways I ask him to speak up, he doesn't do it. He says he doesn't like shouting at me and that other people can hear him. I had my hearing checked by an audiologist, and it's fine -- no change from when I was younger. But he still won't speak up! I'm so annoyed most of the time that I ignore him unless we're in the same room and facing each other. Then he gets grumpy with me for not responding or not knowing things he said he told me. How can I get him to understand that it doesn't matter how loud he thinks he should talk, if I can't hear him, I can't hear him? -- OUT OF RANGE IN ILLINOIS.
DEAR OUT: You have told your husband that unless he gets out of his easy chair and talks directly to you, that you can't understand what he's saying. Perhaps if he tried what you are suggesting it would be less frustrating for him. That he would refuse to cooperate without trying is inconsiderate. (Could he be losing it, or is HE having trouble hearing when you talk to him?) Whatever the cause of your communication problem, you may need your hearing rechecked. If you are told again that it's fine, consult a mediator to get the message across to him.
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