Partner's Unhealthy Lifestyle Needs an Adjustment
Dear Abby | August 22nd, 2025 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: I'm in a long-term relationship with an incredible guy I'll call Jerry. We both have grown children, his parents and family are amazing, and we all get along wonderfully. Jerry works hard as a health-care professional. I work as well, but he supports us financially, for which I am grateful. He has an autoimmune disorder and, unfortunately, other health issues because, over the decades, he didn't take care of himself. I make healthy meals, walk at least 10 miles a week and try very hard not to spend too much time on the sofa. My problem is: I'm in my mid-50s, energetic and living with someone who is my complete opposite in that way. I go out alone and with my family and friends to remain active, but I need Jerry to get off the couch and do things other than go out for meals. I have gently spoken about this with him many times. Should I just keep the status quo? I love him and would like to keep this relationship going. -- HELPLESS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE.
DEAR HELPLESS: I suggest a two-pronged approach. The first prong would be to find out what Jerry's doctor has to say about his sedentary lifestyle, so perhaps another medical professional can help you galvanize Jerry to become more active. The second prong would be to make sure some walking is involved either before or after the two of you go out for a meal. It may take some strategy on your part, but it would be worth a try.
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