Woman Wishes To Acknowledge Kindness After Tragic Loss
Dear Abby | August 16th, 2025 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: Four months ago, my 15-year-old oldest child was killed in a car accident. It has been really hard. My husband and I are doing our best to take care of our younger children and put our lives back together. One thing I don't know what to do about is all the mail I have received from my estranged relatives. None of them came for the service, but aunts, uncles, cousins and even my dad's ex-wife wrote cards and condolence letters. It's all paper mail because I have an unlisted phone number and private email address and don't use social media so they can't follow me. There are good reasons why we haven't been in touch. I do not have the energy to restart these relationships, especially not now, but I also feel the letters were sent with kind intent and ignoring them would be cold. Is there a way to acknowledge the (minimal) support without opening Pandora's box? I guess I want to discharge the social obligation of replying so I can be polite without losing the healthy distance I've been able to establish. -- DISTANT IN ALASKA.
DEAR DISTANT: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the tragic and untimely loss of your child. Because you feel socially obligated to acknowledge the condolences your family sent, consider buying (or having printed) standard cards that say, The family of (blank) acknowledge with gratitude your kind expression of sympathy. It would be a warm and gracious touch to add, if possible, a few handwritten words to each one. Because you can't send love, they need only be, We hope you and your family are well, and sign your name.
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