Co-worker's 'Raging Crush' Must Be Tamed
Dear Abby | July 22nd, 2025 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: After six years of working closely together, I have developed a raging crush on my co-worker and project partner, Brett. It's a full-on, face-flushing, daydreaming kind of situation, and it's super annoying. I know this crush is inappropriate and unreciprocated, and I have no intention of acting on it. We are both married, and I would like to stay that way. My strategy has been to spend less time together and work on not being a moron. I've changed my daily schedule so we don't overlap as often. When we're traveling, I book different flights so we're not together all day, etc. The issue now is that I've heard from a different co-worker that Brett thinks I'm mad at him and that he's done something wrong, which is not the case. He's great, always professional and very good at his job. I don't want to keep hurting his feelings, but there's no way I'm going to tell him what's going on. Besides quitting or going on leave until I can get myself under control, what can I do? -- STRICTLY BUSINESS IN THE SOUTH.
DEAR STRICTLY: To discuss your crush with Brett would be not only embarrassing but also unprofessional. The co-worker who told you Brett thinks you are mad at him may have intended to be helpful, but unless Brett tells you himself, do not make excuses for distancing yourself. The surest way to get your crush under control is to keep reminding yourself that this kind of thing could destroy your career. That may work even better than a cold shower.
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