Husband's Gaslighting Has Reached a New Level
Dear Abby | July 17th, 2025 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for nearly 20 years and lived with him for three years before marrying him. How do you deal with a narcissistic husband? I am tired of the manipulation -- the fights he has caused and then made to look like I was to blame. The worst part is how he has punished me. He often gives me the silent treatment not for a day or two, but for weeks, sometimes months. He comes from an abusive upbringing, and even though I have tried to show him what he's doing is wrong, I can't seem to get through to him. I mentioned therapy once, and he responded with a big fat NO. The last episode was when he sent me a text message claiming I told one of my friends how abusive he is to me and that the police were at our home inquiring about the situation. (My friends know we have fights, but abuse has NEVER been mentioned.) I contacted the police the next day and, of course, there never was a police officer at our home the day before. I am so mad at him that I haven't spoken to him in more than two months. I have no idea what to do. I hope you can help. -- SILENT NO MORE IN CANADA.
DEAR SILENT NO MORE: Your husband is more than narcissistic -- he is also emotionally abusive and sadistic. That you have tolerated his behavior for 20 years (assuming that it didn't start until after your marriage) is shocking. The help you need is as close as the office of a licensed marriage and family therapist, not for him but for you. Consult one and you will learn how dysfunctional your husband is and, hopefully, find the courage to leave and live the life you deserve.
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