Friend's Deceit Came Out of the Blue
Dear Abby | July 15th, 2025 | Letter 1 of 3
DEAR ABBY: I'm struggling with the end of a friendship that has meant the world to me for most of my life. My best friend of 25 years recently married someone she had known for only a few months. I was surprised how quickly things moved, but I respected her decision and was genuinely happy for her. During one of our last meaningful conversations, she assured me she would let me know when a wedding date was set because she wanted me there. A few weeks later, I accidentally discovered that not only had a date been chosen, but there is also a wedding website -- clearly showing the event was planned and confirmed. I was not invited. When I brought it up gently, she flat-out denied that anything had been finalized. I felt hurt, confused and dismissed. The dishonesty and secrecy feel like a betrayal after everything we've shared over the past 25 years. Being excluded from such a major life event and then lied to about it feels like the final straw. I'm torn between mourning the friendship and wondering if I'm overreacting. Is there any coming back from this kind of hurt? Or is it time to accept that our relationship is over? -- LEFT BEHIND IN THE EAST.
DEAR LEFT BEHIND: You are not overreacting. It appears your friend's little white lie turned into a whopper. I can't blame you for feeling hurt at the way you were treated. There could be several reasons why you were left off the guest list. Not knowing your old friend, I can't guess which. Neither can you, since she chose to lie instead of level with you. Whether this should end your long relationship is up to you. Certainly, you need to rethink anything she tells you in the future, if there even is a future.
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