Parents Prefer To Spend Holidays With Friends
Dear Abby | February 24th, 2025 | Letter 2 of 2
DEAR ABBY: Even though we live just an hour away and would like to celebrate holidays with my elderly parents, they prefer to spend them with their friends. This started when my family lived 14 hours away. We'd come home for either Thanksgiving or Christmas each year. If we weren't home, my parents got together with a group of childless buddies. This worked out great -- they weren't alone, and I didn't feel guilty. We moved back home three years ago, primarily to be near family again. However, my parents spend all the major holidays with their buddies, even if my family is home alone. Then my mom asks me to host an alternate holiday so the family can get together. Last year, I tried to talk it through with her. I said it was hurtful that she chose to spend holidays with her friends and asked her to consider family plans first. But she was soon up to her old tricks. I'm 53, but I still want my mom and dad. What should I do? -- NEEDY IN MASSACHUSETTS.
DEAR NEEDY: Because talking it through with your mother hasn't worked, it's time for you to start making other plans for the major holidays. You are only as home alone as you want to be. You and your husband could travel or join a local group and do some volunteering for those less fortunate than you in your community. It's time to take a page out of your mother's playbook and do what she did, which is to declare some independence from her.
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