Friendship Looks Pretty Shallow in Hindsight
Dear Abby | October 30th, 2024 | Letter 2 of 2
DEAR ABBY: I became a grandmother 20 years ago. My first grandchild was biracial, and I suspect that's the reason my best friend, Dori, never acknowledged her. When I sent her photos by mail a few times, they went unacknowledged. Now, 20 years later, Dori has finally become a grandmother through adoption. Although I am happy for her, it stings that my four grandchildren were ignored. I have sent generous baby gifts. How do I move past my resentment without making a fuss? I don't want my grandchildren to ever meet her, as I feel any interest would be idle curiosity and not sincere. Dori has never even asked me their names. -- BITTER IN CALIFORNIA.
DEAR BITTER: Why do you refer to this woman as a best friend? From what you have written, Dori stopped being your friend 20 years ago. You were thoughtful to have sent her grandchild generous gifts (or any gift at all). As I see it, there is more than one way to deal with this situation. The first would be to air your feelings to Dori. The second is to continue living your life without her in a starring role.
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