Young Woman Keeps Mom at Arm's Length on Social Media
Dear Abby | October 25th, 2024 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: I'm the mom of an 18-year-old daughter, Leia. We have always tried to keep the lines of communication open with our children, and we have what I think is a strong, positive familial bond. My best friend recently informed me that Leia has an Instagram account that's publicly accessible. I can't find her account when I search, which means she has me blocked. The account was created three years ago when she was a minor. I'm not happy with this. When asked back then, Leia told us repeatedly she didn't have an Instagram account -- but I always suspected she did, as most young people her age are engaged in social media. I would like Leia to unblock me so I can see her beautiful pictures. I'm not a harsh critic or negative person, though Leia often interprets my comments that way. I think she has blocked me because she considers any observations or comments I might make to be parental surveillance. I've told her, repeatedly, that I'm not trying to keep tabs on her. We have always given our kids what we think is a high level of personal freedom. I just want to see the beautiful images she posts. How do I gently bring this up to her, and ask her to allow me to see her account? -- BLOCKED IN NEW YORK.
DEAR BLOCKED: I don't advise you to ask your now-adult daughter to unblock you from her social media. You stated that Leia often interprets your comments and observations as critical and invasive, which may be the reason she blocked you in the first place. Because you long to see her beautiful pictures, ask your good friend to show them to you on her computer or her cellphone. That way your curiosity will be assuaged, and Leia won't feel invaded.
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