Blowup With Sister Comes at Worst Possible Time
Dear Abby | October 17th, 2024 | Letter 1 of 2
DEAR ABBY: My out-of-state sister is facing major, life-threatening surgery. Even though she isn't well, I asked to visit her a few days prior to a family reunion, and she agreed. While I was there, I noticed she was irritable and sharp-tongued, more so than she usually is. I let it go. However, on the morning of the reunion, as we were getting ready to go, she turned her anger on me, screaming and yelling at me and making all kinds of accusations. I'm sorry to say that after repeated statements, I started shouting back. When I regained my composure, I apologized to her for everything she said I had done as a guest. Then I packed my bags and went to stay at another family member's home. At the reunion, she was sweet and nice to everyone but, of course, our conversation was minimal. I'm home now, but at a loss as to what to do next. I already apologized, but the silence from her is deafening. She has always been headstrong, argumentative and self-righteous, but she's my only sibling, and I love her. I'm not perfect either, but I can't help but think that an apology from her is the only way we can move forward. Agree? -- BROTHER WHO TRIES IN ILLINOIS.
DEAR BROTHER: No, I do not agree. Your sister is very ill. The treatment is life-threatening. In this situation, many people are not at their best. Do not demand or expect an apology from her. Call, text or write her to tell her you love her and wish her well in the coming weeks and months, and that she is in your thoughts. In a case like this, a dose of selective amnesia on your part might be beneficial.
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