Wife's Revelations Prompt Man To Consider Divorce
Dear Abby | October 11th, 2024 | Letter 1 of 3
DEAR ABBY: I have been married 27 years with two kids. My wife recently revealed to me that she was raped when she was 14 but said it wasn't violent. She also said she had several adult partners when she was 15 and 16. We had discussed our past prior to marriage, and these things weren't mentioned. If they had been, I wouldn't have married her. I have a hard time even looking at her now. I feel like telling her I want a divorce, but I'm looking for a second opinion about what I should do. Am I being ridiculous for wanting a divorce over things that happened 35 years ago? -- THROWN IN MISSOURI.
DEAR THROWN: Consent laws can be confusing and can change over time, and a lot may depend on the age of each partner. However, rape is rape. When your wife was 15 and 16 an adult may also have been breaking the law by having sex with her, even consensually. After all this, she might have benefitted from counseling (if any was offered). Your wife may not have previously discussed this because she was afraid your reaction would be as over the top as it has been. Before you decide to divorce her for being victimized as a teenager, I urge you to consult a licensed therapist either alone or with her. If you do, it will give you better perspective.
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