Quarter-Century Marriage Is an Intimacy-Free Zone
Dear Abby | April 10th, 2024 | Letter 1 of 3
DEAR ABBY: I'm in a sexless 25-year marriage. It was not always this way, but any intimacy has been over for more than a decade. My wife's libido has waned, which I understand. What she does do is continually bring up issues about me from years ago as if they were yesterday. I have my faults, like lack of communication and shutting down, which I have objectively thought about a great deal and tried to make things right. I'm not violent, I don't use drugs or abuse alcohol. She remains adamant in her distrust of me and punishes me by withholding all forms of intimacy. We attended marriage counseling, where I listened to her and acknowledged my issues for redress. She, on the other hand, justifies her actions and behaviors. She has her own failings but doesn't want to hear how much her actions have hurt me. She also didn't listen to the counselor and will not hold herself accountable. I feel so lonely. She thinks a lack of intimacy is fine for a marriage, and this is frustrating to me. I have brought this up to her numerous times, but she will not be moved. I could use your counsel on this. -- LONELY MAN IN GEORGIA.
DEAR LONELY MAN: You tried counseling; counseling failed. Lack of intimacy (of any kind) is not fine for a marriage. Call an attorney and set yourself free.
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